Thursday, August 31, 2006

Training near New-Orleans.

Forecasting the visit of George W. Bush to New-Orleans for the anniversary of the damages made by Katrina, Bush coming to back up the conservative candidates to the future mid term elections, the Louisiana National Guard made numerous training sessions.

During a camouflage training, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.
"You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know thatby jumping an yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
"Yes, sir." the soldier answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a squadron of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter"--that did it."

Good bye Cyd

Best wishes for the future and thanks for all you did on Insex and Hardtied.
Same to Jenny.

Life in Japan

Never wake up too early, if you f...ed all the night.


Stiffness / Raideur

A condom is like a coffin, you must be stiff to get inside.

Un préservatif, c'est un peu comme un cercueil, il faut être raide pour entrer dedans.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

KEY

The same key opened the chest and the chastity belt.
Flemish wood-engraving, XVIth Century.
We should have the same with our car key.

GIFT FOR YOUR WIVES/CADEAU POUR VOS FEMMES

We are always looking for ideas for gift to our women (wives or not). Each time it has to be original, aesthetical, easy to use as well as long lasting. I propose an original accessory that we could buy up to quite recently at Harrods Department Store in London. Now you may find a wide range of models in speciality stores around the world. Some are also handcrafted by artist of which the most famous remains KGB.

Nous cherchons toujours des idées de cadeaux originaux pour nos femmes (épouses ou non). A chaque fois cela doit être original, esthétique, pratique et doit être un souvenir durable. Je suggère donc un accessoire original quoique traditionnel que nous pouvions acheter jusqu'à quelques années en arrière au Grand Magasin Harrods à Londres. Maintenant vous pourrez trouver un large éventail de modèles dans les boutiques spécialisées à travers le monde.
Certains de ces accessoires sont de véritables oeuvres d'arts faites par des artisants dont le plus fameux reste KGB.




Historical model dated XVth century
Museum of the Palazzo del Duce
Armeria- Provicia di Venezia- Italy.

THE PROOF

MWB
Your baby has a very high IQ.
Happy daddy!



NEW YORK, NEW YORK.

A young man stepped up to the bar and ordered a manhattan. The barman returned shortly with the drink, in which foated a piece of parsley.
"What's that" he asked, pointing to the glass.
"A manhattan" replied the barman. "Isn't that what you ordered?"
"Well, yes" said the young man. But what's that?" He pointed to the parsley.
"Oh, that" explained the barman, "That's Central Park"

SOUVENIRS, SOUVENIRS. No comments

GLOBAL WARMING (sticky question)

Thanks to MFX


Tuesday, August 29, 2006

YOOKI

MYSTERY is ALIVE


Insex ?

Monday, August 28, 2006

Hey Guys! Relax! Let's play!

What are the seven differences?

SALADE MYTHOLOGIQUE

Je vous parle d'un temps où tous les étudiants avaient de la culture, des idées et une connaissance minimale de la langue française.

Sorry to people not speaking french: IMPOSSIBLE TO TRANSLATE!


PENELOPE ENEE de vous asseoir que je vous ARCHONTE ULYSSEtoire.


Nous PHENICIENS de DEJANIRE et je m’étais BOREE d’HOMERE ENCELADE que je c’ANTEE se reBELLEROPHON de mon ESOPEphage. Il n’était pas TARTARE, mais encore était TITAN que cela PHENIX et que je MALPOMENE.

J’étais VENUS à PÂRIS pour y faire la fête. Il fallait voir comme j’éTHEMIS. Pour être plus COLCHIQUE, j’avais mis mon PALATOS neuf et pris mon STYX à POMONE d’ACHATE.

J’allais rendre visite à m’ATALANTE. Je frappe à la porte de sa CAMBYSE :
« ATREE dit-elle ». Dès qu’elle s’écria, ACTEON EGERIE. Elle était ANCHISE PERSEE en train d’URANIE. Je ne sais pas comment elle CYPRIS, elle fit un PATHOS, glissa sur DEDALE NUMIDES, fit le grand ICARE et j’ai VULCAIN. Il n’est pas APHRODITE, mais PLUTON POLLUX, à SELENE est je crois qu’elle CIRCEPHALE afin qu’ils NARCISSE.

Elle était CYBELE qu’il ne pouvait aller autrement que mon EURYDICE. J’ILISUS LYCAON HELENE ENEE qu’elle a VENUS car j’avais jeté ses JUPITER. Je la CHLOE sur le bord d’ULYSSE. Elle n’avait CASSANDRE ou CALCHAS. MEDEE qu’elle LAOCOON, voilà CASTOR et qu’elle en RHADAMANTE. Ca PROMETHEE. J’en TIRCIS ? C’est BEAUCIS, mais je ne suis pas ALEXIS car TELEMAQUE. PHALLUS t-il que JANUS dans mes DUCALION que CERES si j’avais PROSERPINE ; MENELAS JUNON NEPTUNE. Puis elle SATURNE et fait un PEGASE ou une VESTALE qui ne sentait pas OSIRIS, mais PLUTON le CHLOE DRYADE AMMON EAQUE ou l’ALCIDE SYLPHIDErique.
« IO ; DIDON ! Faut-il GANYMEDE un PYTHON pour forcer l’URANUS à CYTHERE. »
« Tu MINERVE. Tu m’AJAX » Répondit-elle.
Elle AMPHION, elle en fit ZEUS, elle AMPHITRITE.
« Tu n’est guère POLYPHEME, il faut que je retire mon EUPOLIS de peur que ton PELUSE »
En voyant son BACCHUS, je TITYRE mon DARDANOS qui SATYRE d’une BELLONE et PAN ! Je l’HERCULE par TROIE fois sans qu’elle m’en PRIAPE à DIDON TYRTEE que je MERCURE.

Et à huit jours de là, voilà que mon NESTOR et je PSYCHE GELAME de rasoir.
Que PHAETON en ce cas ? On CENTAURE LAPITHE de HARPIE et on se fait des AJAXion dans le canALCMENE à la vessie.

Au bout de SIMOIS ou d’un ANDROMEDE au MERCURE, le mal n’avait pas EMPYREE, mais n’allait pas mieux.

Si ç’ATLAS, moi ça MORPHEE PALLAS ANTEE.
Faudrait-il qu’on me le CUPIDON ! AGAMEMNON ! J’aimerais mieux qu’on me PINDE.

Moralité : Passant, SILENE te démange, NEMESIS ITHAQUE de CORINTHE CALLIPYGE la EOLE. Je dis bien la EOLE, car le petit V n’est rien.

COLLARING

Not bad. I'm quite happy with the work...
LOOK!

And try to do better

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Software Problems

Subject: Technical Support

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.

Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that these two systems detected each other and they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2004. Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge. These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertable hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please?

Saturday, August 26, 2006

EUROPE / USA

Comments are up to all.
I hope a lot of wrath.

For Mwb's baby.

That lead to the next post

I have a dream!

I HAVE A DREAM!
(M.L.K)

Friday, August 25, 2006

C'est quoi?

L'homosexualité c'est savoir élargir le cercle de ses connaissances.

Let's think....

If abortion is a criminal act,
handjob is a genocide.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

SUSHI IS BOOMING


I KNOW WHY !


1964


2002




One-Liners Make the Beast With Two Backs

Overweight hobo: The only things I look forward to in life are mayonnaise and sex!

--57th & 7th


Woman on cell: When sex turns into math, you've got trouble on your hands.

--Union Square

Overheard by: McFreaky


Chick, screaming into cell: What a bitch! I swear, it's getting harder and harder to fuck your co-worker and get away without people finding out!

--JFK

Overheard by: Pixie


Realist on cell: Well you can't expect every guy you sleep with to call you back.

--53rd & 6th


Man to female date: So, basically, you sleep with people out of hilarity?

--St Mark's & 2nd

Overheard by: Diane


Business woman: No, I told her I'd rather have sex with my husband than buy her products. And then she hung up on me.

--Chipotle, 22nd & 6th

From: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com

Japanese are always ahead in progress.






I thought I had seen every thing in my life, but now...
What you see below are not see-thru skirts.. They are actually printed skirts to make it looks as if the panties were visible and these skirts were the fashion booming in Japan not so long ago.

Je pensais avoir tout vu maintenant…
Ce que vous voyez ci-dessous, ce ne sont pas des jupes transparentes.
Ce sont des imprimés sur les jupes qui donnent l’impression que les culottes sont visibles. Cela faisaitt rage au Japon il n'y a pas très longtemps.

The new line with a no pant design
is certainly under study.

La nouvelle ligne "sans culotte" doit être en cours de conception.

BREAKING NEWS: From an insider source (happy man), 2008 collection will be a very elegant NO PANT NO SKIRT line.

SCOOP: Selon une source (chanceuse) bien informée, la collection 2008
sera une ligne très élégante SANS JUPE SANS CULOTTE.

Make your plane reservation NOW!
Faites votre réservation aérienne DES MAINTENANT!





Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Lapsus??

Un Lapsus c'est comme le cunnilingus, un écart de langue et on est dans la merde.

Consumer Society : Société de Consommation

Cet Instant de silence

Vous est offert par
-
-
-
-
-
L'Association contre le l'abbêtissement
et le conditionnement par les Médias.
-
-
-
C'est bon?

Dedicated to all Doms with backpain

912??



GLOBAL WARMING EFFECTS













And we are now in 2006

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Les hommes importants pour une femme...


LE MEDECIN, parce qu'il dit :
- "Enlevez vos vêtements !"

LE DENTISTE, parce qu'il dit :
- "Ouvrez bien grand !"

LE LIVREUR, parce qu'il dit :
- "Je vous la mets devant ou derrière ?"

LE DECORATEUR, parce qu'il dit :
- "Une fois dedans, vous allez l'adorer."

L'AGENT DE CHANGE, parce qu'il dit :
- "Ca va grimper, fluctuer, et redescendre lentement."

LE BANQUIER, parce qu'il dit :
- "Si vous retirez trop vite, vous allez perdre tout l'intérêt."

LE REPARATEUR TELECOM, parce qu'il dit :
- "Vous voulez ça sur la table ou contre le mur ?"

Et enfin LE CHASSEUR
parce qu'il pénètre dans le buisson, tire deux coups et mange ce qu'il a tiré...